apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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