I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
