Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
