So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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