u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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