Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize