I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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