You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
