I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So squirting runs in the family.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I need to calm my uterus...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
