like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this just has baby written all over it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
