As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
