another moral hangover. fuck.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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