So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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