he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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