Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
