Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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