How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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