yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
