I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize