Sponge bath it is.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
