I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
