I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
