haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize