I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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