i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
