Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
