Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
