His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize