TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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