I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
