my soul wont recognize me after tonight
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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