Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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