Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
