According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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