I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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