We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
