$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
