My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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