so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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