Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
