Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
