Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
