Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
