I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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