That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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