that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
