Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
NoShamevember. You game?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
