weddingsv make me drug and hornr
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
