Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
