Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
