I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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