South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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