they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Randomize
