farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
