a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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