so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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