It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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