sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sponge bath it is.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
