If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
