Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
