Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
