I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
