About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
