guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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