She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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