i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
