Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
