guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
