Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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